Noticing the Signs: how to tell when someone is struggling with their mental health at work

This year’s Mental Health Awareness Week theme from the Mental Health Foundation is Belonging Matters. At LifeCare, we believe belonging starts with us: with the people who notice when someone isn’t themselves, ask how they’re really going, and know how to respond.

Why colleagues are often the first to notice

Most of us spend more of our waking hours with our workmates than with our own families. As our Mental Health Training Lead, Melissa Farrow, puts it, that means the people we work with are often the first to see the subtle changes when someone starts to struggle, and are in a unique position to step in early.

It matters for workplaces too. WorkSafe New Zealand says businesses are likely to have obligations under the law to look after workers’ mental health at work (WorkSafe). Its New Zealand Psychosocial Survey 2021 of 3,612 workers found 35% had experienced at least one offensive behaviour at work in the past 12 months, and that a sense of community at work is one of the most common protective factors. In other words, belonging at work is protective.

5 quiet signs someone may be struggling at work

Everyone has off days. What to look for is a change from what’s normal for that person that lasts for more than a couple of weeks.

1. Pulling back from the team. Skipping breaks, team lunches or social chats they used to join, or going quiet in meetings.
2. Changes in mood, energy or reliability. Seeming tired or flat, missing deadlines, arriving late or taking more sick days than usual.
3. Working much longer hours, or seeming disengaged. Some people overwork to cope; others lose interest in work they used to care about.
4. More irritable or withdrawn than usual. Snapping at small things, getting tearful, or seeming on edge.
5. Saying “I’m fine” a little too quickly. Brushing off questions, or making comments like “what’s the point” or “I can’t do this anymore”.

None of these signs means someone has a mental health condition. They’re simply a prompt to check in.

What to do when you notice: Notice. Ask. Respond.

1. Notice. Trust your instinct when something seems different, and think about what you’ve seen.
2. Ask. Choose a private, relaxed moment. Open gently: “I’ve noticed you’ve seemed a bit quieter lately. How are you really going?” Be ready to ask twice; many people say “fine” the first time.
3. Listen. Give them your full attention. You don’t need to fix anything or have the answers. Avoid judging or rushing to advice.
4. Respond and connect them with support. Ask what would help. Encourage them to talk to their GP, your Employee Assistance Programme (EAP) or a support line, and offer practical help, like adjusting workload where you can.
5. Follow up. Check in again in a few days. Knowing someone noticed, and remembered, builds belonging.

The Mental Health Foundation’s Open Minds programme has free guides for managers on how to start these conversations, and its Five Ways to Wellbeing (Connect, Take notice, Be active, Give, Keep learning) are a simple way to build everyday wellbeing in teams.

Where to get help in New Zealand

• 1737, Need to talk? Free call or text 1737, any time, 24/7, to talk with a trained counsellor or peer support worker (1737.org.nz).
• Your Employee Assistance Programme (EAP). Many workplaces offer free, confidential counselling through an EAP. Check with HR.
• Your GP for ongoing support and a referral if needed.
• In an emergency, if someone is in immediate danger, call 111.

Build your team’s confidence to notice and respond

Knowing the signs is a great first step. Training helps people feel confident to act on them. LifeCare’s mental health courses are delivered for New Zealand workplaces:

• Introduction to Mental Health (1-hour seminar): builds awareness and understanding for everyone.
• Mental Health 101 for Business (4-hour seminar): helps staff recognise signs and symptoms and make a first response to help their co-workers. We run this as a public course in Auckland and Wellington.
• Building Resilience (half-day workshop): practical tools to manage stress and build resilience and wellbeing.

Belonging Starts With Us. Click “Let’s Talk” on our mental health courses page to bring mental health training to your team.

If you or someone you know needs to talk, free call or text 1737 any time.

Frequently Asked Questions – FAQs

What are the signs someone is struggling with their mental health at work?

Common signs include pulling back from the team, changes in mood, energy or reliability, working much longer hours or seeming disengaged, being more irritable or withdrawn than usual, and brushing off questions with a quick “I’m fine”. Look for changes from what’s normal for that person that last more than a couple of weeks.

How do I ask a colleague if they’re OK?

Find a private, relaxed moment and say what you’ve noticed without judgement, for example: “You’ve seemed a bit quieter lately. How are you really going?” Listen, don’t try to fix it, and ask what would help.

What should I do if a colleague tells me they’re struggling?

Thank them for sharing, listen, and encourage them to get support from their GP, your Employee Assistance Programme or 1737 (free call or text, 24/7). If someone is in immediate danger, call 111. Check in again a few days later.

Do New Zealand employers have to look after workers’ mental health?

WorkSafe New Zealand says businesses are likely to have legal obligations to look after workers’ mental health at work, alongside physical health and safety.

Is there mental health training for workplaces in New Zealand?

Yes. LifeCare delivers Introduction to Mental Health, Mental Health 101 for Business and Building Resilience for New Zealand workplaces. The Mental Health Foundation also offers free resources such as Open Minds for managers.

Sources

• Mental Health Awareness Week 2026: Belonging Matters (Mental Health Foundation)
• WorkSafe New Zealand: Raise a mentally healthy work concern
• WorkSafe New Zealand: New Zealand Psychosocial Survey 2021
• Mental Health Foundation: Workplaces
• Mental Health Foundation: Open Minds
• Mental Health Foundation: Five Ways to Wellbeing
• 1737, Need to talk?
• LifeCare mental health courses